Three Simple Rules for B&B-going in Ireland (and anywhere)

Sign for a B&B (courtesy of

1. Fornication. Don’t get so sexy that you wake up the entire house at 2 a.m. It sounded like they were “filming a porno” right in our hotel, as one of our group members put it. Great for them to have such passion, but know the limits of these paper-thin walls (and ceilings and floors). It’s beyond-all-reason inconsiderate. We lost an entire night’s sleep – and Jason had to march upstairs and pound on their door. I slept in the main-floor lounge for about an hour and that’s about it.

2. Proprietor hospitality. If you aren’t an accommodating person, don’t run a place of accommodation. It’s that simple. (Identical to the axiom of politics: if you hate government, stay out of policymaking.) They tried to pawn us off in the attic area where four bedrooms used one nasty bathroom. We were moved to a room with an en-suite bathroom, but the carpet is filthy and the windows don’t open. I write this after having learned about Irish immigrants being banished to steerage¬†while trying to make it out of the country – by those standards, to be sure, we’re getting fanned by the pool at the Taj Mahal.

3. Internet. While 10 years ago wi-fi was a luxury, it is now a necessity. Our Cashel Town Hostel B&B has piss-poor connectivity – and, as a writer, I need that to do research and stay in communication with the outside world. Remember, travelers have a life at home that they are trying to manage while traveling abroad. The technology is there, it’s just the willingness of the host to make it work well.

Complaining is tricky business, and I don’t want to sound like a curmudgeon-grump. But these simple rules followed by all involved in the B&B business could make traveling much more enjoyable.

UPDATE: The visit to the Hostel/B&B improved considerably after the “porno-gate” fiasco, with a visit coordinated by the B&B owner to the local Cashel Blue plant outside of the city – as well as a general improvement in proprietor demeanor. All of the above still applies, though, but I thought I’d mention that sticking something out can actually pay off in the end, depending on the situation.